


the easy silence that you make for me

by alljustrunaways



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, post-trying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:49:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23047303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alljustrunaways/pseuds/alljustrunaways
Summary: "Carefully, Jake crawls out of the warmth of their comforter and slides his slippers on, padding quietly over to the boards. It takes him a while to dismantle everything due to the lack of light and his determination to be as silent as possible, but he manages to tuck it all away neatly in the closet of their guest bedroom. He still has hope that at some point in a month or three months or a year they’ll take it out and try again, but not today. Today they just need to rest."or, the morning after hitchcock's second divorce party, jake and amy have a relaxing sunday morning together.
Relationships: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
Comments: 16
Kudos: 98





	the easy silence that you make for me

**Author's Note:**

> i genuinely cannot believe the spectrum of emotions i felt watching that episode. it felt so raw and real and emotional and even though i was so sad watching them be sad i'm excited for (hopefully!!) a future SURPRISE pregnancy reveal! this is probably a little sad because i wanted to stay true to the tone of the episode but it's not too sad because jake's an amazing husband and they love each other so much so it's all gonna be okay!!
> 
> from tumblr prompt from letsperaltiago: Some angst with happy ending: After the bar in the last scene they go home and Jake can tell Amy feels heartbroken by the sight of all of her binders, planning, boards and everything. So they go to sleep but he gets up in the night to (neatly) put it away so she doesn’t have to look at it again unless she actively chooses to 🥺
> 
> and title from easy silence by the dixie chicks one of the softest songs in the universe!!

Jake wakes up automatically just after six in the morning, his body still accustomed to their regularly scheduled uterine deposits.

His mind catches up to him a moment later, when he realizes that they have no regularly scheduled UD today and won’t for the foreseeable future.

Amy desperately needs a break from trying, and lord knows he does too. If she wanted to, he would abstain from nachos and video games and sacrifice his sleep for years until they made a baby, but he knows it’s the right time to take a pause. She deserves so much better than never-ending disappointment.

She’s still asleep, which doesn’t really surprise him. They didn’t get home from Shaw’s until late, and they stayed up for a few more hours making love and talking and just laying there listening to the other’s breathing. Now, she looks the most peaceful she has in months - her hair is pulled back in a loose ponytail and she’s wearing his comfiest black t-shirt.

The moment his eyes travel upward, he winces at the sight of the boards littered with calendars and post-it notes that have taken up half their bedroom for the past six months. Those damn boards have been their _life_ for the past six months. He can’t remember the last time they had a romantic evening that wasn’t strictly regimented sex or went on a date or did something fun with their friends.

His eyes flick to his sleeping wife once more, and a deep ache rises in his chest when he thinks about her having to look at her hours and hours of wasted efforts when she wakes up. He’s pretty sure that if he ever again has to see the look of defeat she had on her face last night, his heart will combust.

Carefully, Jake crawls out of the warmth of their comforter and slides his slippers on, padding quietly over to the boards. It takes him a while to dismantle everything due to the lack of light and his determination to be as silent as possible, but he manages to tuck it all away neatly in the closet of their guest bedroom. He still has hope that at some point in a month or three months or a year they’ll take it out and try again, but not today. Today they just need to rest.

She’s still sleeping after he finishes up and takes a quick shower, so he heads to the kitchen, grabs the pancake mix that they haven’t touched in months and gets started on breakfast.

-

Amy wakes slowly, not to the blaring of one of her many baby-making alarms or regular work alarms, but to a peaceful apartment and light shining in through the window.

She reaches over to grab Jake and snuggle into him for a few more minutes, but his side of the bed is both empty and cold, so she guesses he’s been up for a while. She grabs her glasses from her bedside table as she climbs out of bed, and as the world comes into focus she notices her research boards are gone. The room feels almost empty without them, they’ve become such a staple of their life over the last few months.

She’s not sure if she feels relieved or just defeated.

She pulls on a pair of PJ shorts, barely visible under the large t-shirt draped over her frame, and heads out to the kitchen in search of something to eat - preferably something on her “DO NOT EAT” list.

The smell of bacon hits her the moment she enters the hallway, and upon turning the corner she’s greeted by a wide array of pancakes, scrambled eggs, fruit and bacon sprawled over the dining room table.

Jake is standing with his back to her pouring coffee in the kitchen, and the moment he turns around she’s greeted with a glowing smile.

“Good morning, babe!”

“Morning,” she replies, unable to keep herself from smiling in return. If there’s a cure for devastation, it’s her husband in sweatpants making her coffee on a Sunday morning. “What’s all this?”

“Breakfast, with _zero_ kale involved and pancakes that aren’t made from oat bran.” He places the mugs down on the table and wraps his arms around her waist, leaning his forehead against hers. “How are you doing?”

“I’m okay,” she says, placing her hands on his chest.

She’s pretty sure it’s true - she’s obviously not great, but she’s still got a little bit of hope to cling to. They had sex last night, maybe that’ll be the one. _There’s still a chance._

He pulls away to get a better look at her face and his brow furrows with intensity as he examines her. “You would tell me if you weren’t, right?”

“Of course, babe” She pecks his lips. “Can we eat now? This smells amazing.”

He nods and kisses her forehead quickly before releasing her, pulling out a chair for her to sit down. She rolls her eyes at his ever-chivalrous behaviour, but the blush creeping on her cheeks betrays her cool exterior and the butterflies in her stomach are as active as they were on their first date.

They devour the majority of the food in ten minutes - she had no idea how much she’d missed actually-caffeinated coffee and maple syrup and full-fat bacon. Once they’re too full to eat another bite, they decide to leave the cleanup for later and retreat to the couch to watch HGTV on low volume.

Jake reclines into the corner of the couch and Amy drapes herself over him, tangling her bare legs with his for warmth and resting her head on his chest. His arms encircle her just as naturally, and she can’t remember the last time she felt this relaxed.

“Thanks for breakfast,” she murmurs into his t-shirt. “That was really sweet. And for taking the boards down before I woke up.”

He just kisses her hair and hugs her tighter. “Of course, Ames.”

She closes her eyes and enjoys the feeling of his embrace, protecting her from all the things she can’t control. For a little while, she lets herself take refuge in him and put all her worries aside. She can’t even fathom going through this without Jake’s unwavering support, holding her hand every time she waited for another test to turn negative or making her laugh when she was exhausted and grumpy.

“Maybe we give it a month and then go back to the doctor and start exploring other options?” she suggests after a little while, playing idly with his fingers.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” he agrees. “Whenever you’re ready.”

She buries her face in his neck to hide her watering eyes. “I hate that this is so hard.”

He must hear the slight tremble in her voice, because he kicks into comfort mode and starts running his hand through her hair.

“I know, honey, but I swear to you we’re gonna have a baby one way or another - if that’s what you want.”

She nods and sniffles quietly, her nose pressed against his collarbone.

“I love you and our life so much, Jake, I really do, and I _love_ the home we’ve built together,” she assures him, her mind replaying the beautiful speech he gave her at Shaw’s last night. “I just can’t stop thinking about sharing that life with our _child_.”

Jake smiles sadly and wipes her tears away with his thumb. “Me too.”

Amy kisses him softly and returns to her previous position, nuzzling into him until she’s as close as possible.

When he resumes his gentle stroking of her hair, she knows for a fact that things are going to be okay.

(A year from now, cuddling into Jake’s side with their newborn baby draped over his chest and holding onto her finger, things are better than ever.)

**Author's Note:**

> y'all know i had to give this a happy ending *aggressively crosses fingers*


End file.
